Actress Shefali Shah has spoken what all went through in her mind while she was planning a solo trip to Rishikesh, Uttarakhand.
Shefali took to Instagram, where she shared a picture of herself going for river rafting alone and captioned it: “My family really doesn’t know what they are missing. It’s not as though I didn’t try. The plan was for all four of us to come here but, the first hurdle was to align dates of four people living in the same house under the same surname, probably as difficult as achieving celestial harmony where Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn align. (The next such alignment is due on 25th January 2025, make a note, must watch!)”
“One reluctant team member (no prizes for guessing who) tried endlessly for days to coordinate this collaboration. Dates were finalized, changed, & re-changed to suit everyone. The decision-making for the destination was left to our offspring. Big mistake.”
She added: “In the span of a couple of hours, we traveled the world. From Rishikesh to Sri Lanka, Bali to Goa, Hampi to Pondicherry, and many more exotic places, we went back and forth in our heads. If this travel were counted in miles, it would have taken us halfway to any one of those destinations.”
“ After providing more options than the 20-course tasting menu at Noma, or a hypothetical 100-course menu, my prodigal son, without ceremony, announced he didn’t want to go anymore. And immediately, the other son followed suit, as did the father.”
She shared that all three of them wanted to “chill at home.”
“Together? The last time I saw all of us together was in the Diwali photograph. Upset would be the understatement of the century to describe how I felt.”
So, the actress “decided to go alone.”
“But a decision like this does not come without its moral dilemmas. Ranging from doubt (Should I go? Or shouldn’t I?), guilt (How can I go alone without my family?), to major guilt (How can I spend so much on myself?),” she added.
The actress said that she is thankful to her parents for giving her middle-class values.
“But the problem is, those same values often undervalue me. According to them, anything besides food on our plate, a roof over our head, & clothes on our body is an exorbitant indulgence, and definitely invalid for a woman who chooses to travel alone without her family.”
“‘What will you even do alone? How will you enjoy without your family? Isn’t it too expensive for one person? What a waste, it would’ve been so much better with everyone.’”
She then talked about how she ended up going on a solo trip.
“Dare anyone say this out loud? No one does, except that annoying voice in my head, the one that comes up with these ridiculous, ubiquitous norms deeply embedded in me.. But this Mother India wants to let go of endless waiting and go to a place in the lap of nature, surrounded by a gurgling river, wrapped in the warmth of a blanket after a relaxing massage, accompanied by a book and some wine.”
“How can she sing, ‘These are a few of my favorite things’ when the only sound of mu music chiming in her head is ‘Mere Karan Arjun Ayenge.! I don’t know if it’s having middle-class thoughts or being a woman that ensues such a battle within, or if it’s the combination of both that makes it even more deadly and disappointing.
“Before I give in to my Sati Savitri conscience, which believes any indulgence toward my solitary self is criminal, I do the bookings. I look deeply into the eyes of this guilt-ridden, ‘I don’t deserve anything woman and holler: ‘Ja Simran, ja. Jee le apni zindagi.’”
